i have been dreaming lately about work - about being a hot asian martial arts expert super spy wearing skin tight rubber - about not being able to load the combination clothes/dish washing machine correctly (eww. no undies on the top rack, please, that is for glasses only) - about being screwed by the old white male society...

odd.

things here are hopefully calming down - 2/3 of the car crap is completed, only the DMV/registration to go. holy hell.

once that is completed can i:

• stop the dollars and cents related *tick*tick*ticks*?
• get some new clothes? pants are getting lower on the hips as of late, and most of my warm shirts are too short to cover the beetle...
• plant stands for the dining room! a projekt! whoo whee! *waves around paint brushes and mahogany stain*
• plan some type of trip to visit some friends? ...*wonders if she'll see anyone for her b-day*
• feel secure enough to take the step and visit TheRapist - stirring up the bowels for a bit, taking care of the ick in me, yes...

i am loosing track of my nicknames - must mail that file to myself so as not to get confused. i muse think of an endearment for one of my co-workers i have befriended. there is a set, actually, two grrlies i can hang with on occasion. hrm...thing1 and thing2 are not quite flattering...hrm, what shall it be then? ah, stilton and brie. it is all good then...and yummy!

so, um, stilton was just here in the Archive in tears - roommate/boyfriend issues - and i advise as well as i can. sometimes i find it strange people would take my advice to heart...the way i view the world is a bit skewed...i am some sort of over-emotional robot crying and kicking while i scream illogical illogical, does not compute! there are things that i cannot understand, most of them related to why is society so fucked? why would TheMan do that? or things being unfair or unjust. i spit on your red tape and rules, push the fucking button and make it done - after all it certainly does not take three days to complete a freakin keystroke!

peh.

over-emotion baby, that is my foundation. funny how people seem to think i have my shit together...perhaps outwardly i do? perhaps i make up this whole mental-terror thing? perhaps i have imagined everything...perhaps there is nothing to bother/worry constantly about, no frustrative additives...? anything is possible.

regardless...

tt and i are having more and more moments lately where we feel happy...at the same time. we hug and mark down another moment to remember - cranberry walnut pancakes on saturday - the circle meets at 4:20 - an evening of melting into comfy chairs in the corner of a french restaurant - dancing around the house in jammies - accomplishment - food - rest - sinking back into that relax relax and the soft purring of the kittens curling up behind our necks...lovely.

this week: tt meets the dentist! and the search for a physical therapist for his aching back and jaw...loan papers arriving in the mail, two signatures away from goal...4 more nights at the gym...

where's the fun?
we shall have to mix it up a bit, no?