home tonight�and making dinner for one. scrounging in the cupboard/refrigerator can be entertaining at times. what do i do with a lot of leftover cheese? heh.

make burri-toes!!

this house seems so empty after such a big party, it does. i like it though�being alone�at times. good to spend some time with myself and my sewing machine.

it is one of those cool breeze evenings, theCure playing in the background, the kitties racing through the house. i am barefoot and computer bound�i am toasting flour tortillas and slicing fresh tomatoes�i am grating cheese!

(by the way, did those pics of utte and freyja load up ok � or slow? should i make them smaller, you think?)

tomorrow i am on a mission to take some pictures of a little love nest o'kittens and a sweet sweet dog that is in need of a home.

friday is my concert. i am a little disconcerted at the lack of interest to go see the concert�was hadassahthebjqueen that bad? my party invites had information, but i heard not a peep. perhaps french love/revolution songs just do not appeal...then again, chorale music is pretty annoying sometimes too. heh.

the rents are going though.

joy.

and who keeps calling and then hanging up? who is it�c'mon fess up.
perhaps the same person mysteriously calling theredbaron at work.

heh.

did you ever notice how some people are constantly unsatisfied?
no matter how good things get for them, they are always in the most horrible circumstances in the world, and no one else matters, not one bit�it is always a contest/pulling teeth/gouging eyes to see who wins�but really it is who looses.

i've been working on this trait in myself � trying to put other's sad before mine � being concerned. at the party this weekend i flipped the fuck out, i freaked, i was caving in, the walls were closing tight�but i held it together, barely.

it is times like those that one looks around at their friends, there to help/lend hands.

these are the things that matter�these are precious�not taken for granted�these are not used up/drained dry.

i want to learn to give and give to those i love, to be less selfish and self centered -- and stop sucking.
for who really wants to suck� be a leech� an emotional vampire?