maybe i will start feeling useful once i finish my degree...maybe that just is not it at all.

in order to be a useful member of society one must produce something...?

what do i produce? poetry, singing, art?

mostly associated with the words..."starving artist"it bothers me how our society doles out retribution. damnit, i am proud of my art.

pleh.

i am all about ranting today.

*writes out check to porrrice for her parking ticket*

i would contest, but that would take care...and i am all out of care at the moment.

$45.00 = almost one week of lunches.
i think of money in terms of lunch. i think of lunch as a luxury.
i also thought, almost 1/3 of my newish leather coat. oh, smell the guilt, ...rub your nose in it, wallow, c'mon wrestle in it with me, c'mon, i am tired of battling myself.

and this, avids, is the point in our regularly scheduled program where the bootygrrl takes a fork to her insides, ...where she realizes that she deserves nothing...nothing at all but the pain and bullshit that she makes for herself.

after all, life is not supposed to be good or fine...shouldn't she know that by now?