the foam is off, and i have something of a semblance of self again,...although unfamiliar.

is it horrid to fix what is broke? awful to want something so dear to be beautiful? to get what you freakin pay for?

i think not. *shrug*

i have not dreamt for days...then again, i have not really slept soundly either. this afternoon after they peeled off my protection, and i admit there were tears, and after they showed their handi-work around to the students on the floor -- me, bare-breasted and crying on the hospital cot -- and after the awful brunch with my mother (for who takes their daughter to a buffet when she can not really yet use her hands?)

i sleptall hands clutched around bootyboi's pillow, positioned close to my heart and lips, cushioning the bruised and the kitties on my shoulders purring. i slept.

and it was so wonderful.

i think this is going to be alright.

*goes of to watch winter sleepers*