last night i walked home from squill in the rain...so green and wet and beautiful it was! i think i will miss walking home a little bit when TT and i move, same walk, just shorter.

we will explore the cemetary together, methinks, and the frick. i am sure there are little paths among which we can loose ourselves.

lately things have been good! very good! not just lost-in-thoughts -of-love-lust-grrlie thoughts either, ...these thoughts have been progressing toward happy for a while, ever since the boston upheval.

good thoughts, except...

...except that i feel so freakin awful being happy. i have had the sad, and i know what it is like to live it, ...i feel so guilty. i see friends around me looking for jobs, or intensely sick, unhappy with their lives, hopeless and such. i see all of this, and yet am helpless to do aything about it. *sigh* so i feel bad about finally being where i want to be.

it is all eeVil.

everything is cyclical.

every means has an end.

i am tired, and today i try swimming laps for the first time. perhaps i shall evem do some schoolwork afterword. *shrug* i have not been all that efficient as of late.

hrm.

last night i did work on my "inside voices" sculpture. tenative title. she is almost ready fro dremmel experimentation, and that is quite exciting! ...at least to me.

time today to work on poetry? we shall see. i do have to get the application in sometime in the near future. *sigh*