step 6 - work - harassment
...in the fall of 1998, three work related problems surfaced, this one being the only one directly related with going to work every day. one of the new employees in our department, a large crazy catholic woman (go figure), had decided that 7 people in our department alone had sexually harassed her. i was one of those named.
situational evidence: a crowded coat hanging area, and when i put mine on, i brushed her arm. she sneered, to which i said, "at least it wasn't your butt."
that was it, i was now a sexual harasser. interesting. i have done much worse. *grin* i am glad she never looked closely at the back of one of my shirts, that had dogs humping each other on the back. oopsie.
although taken very seriously by the upper-management out of necessity, we all knew the charges were bullshit, so it was not too bad a thing to go through. all of the meetings and interrogations, not to mention the general every-day eggshell stress did tend to effect one a bit...quite a bit. the whole atmosphere of my workplace changed from fun laughter to silent anger. it was hard to look forward to going to work.
step 7 - work - racecar lady
...this work-related situation was much harder to deal with (still all at the same time, mind you). i have forgotten her name, which is perhaps a good thing, along with specific memories attached to her. i do remember her advances, her walking around in her underwear, and calls -- so many calls -- at any time of the night with her weeping on the other end. but what could i do?
let me start somewhere toward the beginning...
employment at the library for racecar lady was a plus, as she just moved in around the corner with her husband due to a job he had attained in the crane/construction industry. (racecar lady because she used to be a racecar driver. oh, i am so clever.) i thought she was cool, i thought she had a fun past, i thought she was a great person (which she was!!) and i looked to her as a mother figure -- more so after my mother had stopped talking to me. i would walk to her apartment with her, or meet her there for lunch. we had tea and fun food.
she walked around in her underwear in her apartment, just something she did, i thought...something she explained to me as common place in her apartment. i noticed after a little while that she commonly reeked of alkiehol, and she started to be vary familiar with touching me and hugging me. i was a little uncomfortable, but by this point, she had established me as her "only friend in boston" and she needed a confidant for problems with her husband and ailing mother. she made a few passes at me, trying to kiss me and telling me how much she loved and needed me.
a month after my first hospital stay, her husband and i actually ended up taking care of her a bit, ...they would call me for rides to detox and alkieholic programs. that was when he raped her and she tried to get a divorce and alkiehol became more of a daemon, and the phone calls started.
i was terrified to answer the phone after a certain point (still do not like talking on the phone much) and would have anxiety attacks at the sound of the phone ringing. i simply did not know what to do...does one completely desert another who desperately needs another person to help them, or does one take those calls, that pain, into themselves? i ignored the calls at times, at others would answer, then i OD. it all ties in, but is circumstantial. there is no blame.
