*blinks her bright bright eyes*

*tee hee*

it is good to wake up in such a mood this morning, and there were dreams last night -- although i can not remember them, i remember that they were not the anxiety dreams as of late, and that is amazing!

things have been better as of late, lower stress and conflict sheisse -- on the end of Harleyquinn at least. so sad, and yet so distant, ...the other i am not even going mention. *shrug* he'll grow, someday.

i am doing artwork again after a long break from most importance. last night i worked on my eye sculpture, decided it was time to accentuate neck tendons and such (groovy how chopsticks can come in handy at times! *heh*) ...dremmel dremmel, it is almost time!!

no work on my current painting, but that will be soon. ...next, my head!

maybe that will help... it is often that i get this feeling of endless circling, thoughts that whurr and wrap me up, encase me and smother me. *looks up with wide eyes and whispers thru clenched teeth..."i'm loosing me..."* but, mostly it is not that bad. the hate tends to get oppressive, hating everything...school (oooh...especially school), work, family, friends, my cats, my car...and anything else that may fall into my path at the wrong wrong time.

i am thinking, also, perhaps...that writing down these thoughts may help me work this through a bit more. i have wanted to do this for years (i should have espically done this when i moved away -- but there is no account of insanity, there). perhaps a way to decipher the Numb. i really do not know, i only hope.