i am much better in person, you know - i will laugh and wink, there will be fun soliloquies (woah - i actually spelled that right the first time *amazed*) about the full grown man on the tiny motorcycle or kitty habits, yes, and laughter and laughter. here is my sad and here is my angst...also my love and wit...this journal is my vomitorium, yes.

selling out... is not my thing... walk away
i won't be broken again.
i'm not - i'm not what you think

dream away your life
someone else's dream
nothing equals nothing...

the Archvie program just crashed, taking all of my cataloguing from this morning with it...
*sigh*
ok world, lay it on me - today, i can take it...and i will win.

* * * *

last night tt and i strolled around our new neighborhood - there is an egyptian restaurant down the street!! (it is closed M-W, yes, but still...) there is a charming hardware store - grenade wedge! - and yes, charming (i *heart* the tools, i do), cheap produce market, thai/vietnamese/chinese/korean food, a pizza place, bar with pool table, liquor store,...almost reminds me of the street we lived near in berkeley (san pablo - the source for all of your needs, whatever they are...however bizarre)...add in the ability to walk easily to the ocean and i think i can be happy here (??)

mum called last night (i did not pick up, no) she wants my new phone number, my new address, and perhaps to visit...no no no no no no...not now, not in my little paradise, not ever - please stay back in suxburgh where i left you - please do not try to help me with my sad, you cause, you meddlesome, you you ...please stay away.

note: this stay away business does in no way apply to any friends who would like to come out...you are welcome and looked forward to...