what's your inner flower?

[c]sugardew

plans planned and specifically set out in a set pattern which should not decay etcetera and so on and forth�my life is about plans and times, schedules and appointments. i dread illness and operations, i dread luncheons and lateness.

i think a palm is in my future,�something to make the schedule sane�something to help me keep track of keeping track, to calm the mind and bestow a sense of piece upon this hectic life.

have i earned peace? have i earned anything? love happiness contentment? something in me drives and pushes forth�more and more and harder and faster. i must excel. i must be the best grrlfriend, the best fuck, the most charming and unpredictable. i must complete all tasks under the set time limit, graduate with straight A�s, be the best toy you could ever imagine.

wind me up?

no need�this baby runs on the very air, not solar powered mind you � never that � but tick and tick and tock, an intricate system of weights and pulleys keeping me in check and holding me to my patterns.

there is change in the air, oh yes�and with change comes panic and severance.

there are plans in the works this weekend for a romantic rendezvous at either cafevictoria (uppish victorain mansion converted) or piccolopiccolo (risotto polo chocolat extravaganza)� but this is a plan of calm and of quiet. TT and i will hold hands over the table and celebrate new beginnings�with pride in check or cheek we will talk of the possibilities now open to us, amazement of our youth accompanied with success, the trials up to this point and those of the future. parfumed skin and fitted suit, swank and sheik, stepping out, sipping wine�and relaxing out of the hazy heated evening.

oops,
seems cafevictoria is closed�permanently. italian it is!

i am librarian attired today, as opposed to my usual i-work-in-a-incredibly-dusty-library slouchy look. interesting. new pants (tight and svelte) and shoes (*rub*rub*rub* go the new shoes�*bleed*bleed*bleed* quoth my heels�to the tune of the TrolleySong, of course).

*shrug*

i�ll always have sensitive tootsies, i will. methinks it would be good to grow some barkskin�both to protect this organic shell and these squeamish emotions.

*blinkity*blink*

*does a dance of going on a date!!*

and next month we shall celebrate two years! mmm� i was thinking of rolling both employment and love together, but that is like mixing church and state, no?

�plus, who can pass up tippy tapping around all adult two times!

*wink*