i will allow myself to read one journal (including all back entries i have missed this last week) in-between cataloguing a big stack of tapes. this should get me through the day. *hopes*

if you're frightened of dying... and you're holding on,
you see devils tearing your life away.

...but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels,
freeing you from the earth

ok...i cheated...i just read them all at once...even though i sit in the shadow of the stack, my tapes outnumbering my days worked here...piling up and up and up - teetering.

if they fall on me will anyone notice?

i am cyclic in nature - perhaps something inherent to women? hrm - anyhoo...i have a cycle set up at work: the pee cycle:

on the way to bathroom fill cup with brita-nummyness and set microwave for 3 min - start - off to pee - bleeeewp! - on the way back to desk pick up hot water/teabag (conveniently in same hallway as pottyplace) - back to desk work, sip, work, sip - when i next have to pee the cup is empty! repeat cycle.

we went out on saturday night! i was stompygrrl out on the floor *shake*shaking* to old school goth. fun!
i was safe and snug in-between my tt and myformidableopponent most of the evening, although i was strangely accosted by a boy (bold to approach me when i am surrounded by my own boys, no?) who flirted with me muchso then left. i did not get it at all, but the tt explained the line "i am sorry, but i thought you were someone else...by the way, i'm..."

i thought he did mistake me for someone else.i am such a dork. perhaps i am so ignorant of advances because i do not see the why? of it all� why come up to me? someday i will be amazonspectacularific like the teclo... but these are now only wishes, and strength thoughts about myself are only just beginning to crack open the shell, fragile roots wrapping down toward bone.

strange that the evening also involved seeing a stranger grrlie nekkid from the waist down, which i was in no way prepared for and had no clue what she wanted

(You help me sit! help me sit!
rough translation: hold the stall door shut for me?)
because she was not only trashed off her tukus, but native russian...a combination which did not make for comprehensive communication. (c-c-c! or better yet !c +cc) she stripped down and entered the stall...and i held the door for her as long as i could stand it - she started to spew in there - at which point i made sure the door was propped shut as best as i could and i disappeared.

shame on me for the desertion of a fellow female, but...ew.

what would you have done?