nightswimming ...deserves a quiet night
i�m not sure all these people understand

it�s not like years ago
the fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water...

they cannot see me naked.

these things, they go away,
replaced by everyday...

things are relaxing, piece by piece. every box packed is one less box to pack...*tick*tick*tick* and *thumpthud*thumpthud*...my nerves are sharp, forkprongs, kabob skewers, foundation nails, pricklepinspoke. i am making lists again...but this is nothing new. i always have a list of things that need to get done, not always written on paper, but always there.

i ask tt if this annoys him, my planning, precise and particular...

he likes that i get things done in an organized fashion, and i tend not to plan our play time.
of course, if i planned play time, it would not be fun or play, just stressful...one of the reasons i do not want to pick the restaurant, plan the club, etc. it would be less fun for me - and i look so forward to the fun of letting go of the plan for a bit and have someone else take the reigns.

something i need to work on with TheRapist, methinks. i shall overcome anxiety and go out and meet people...i will tame the sad...i will learn to love the me - these are my hopes. this week i have seriously been thinking that some meds may not be such a bad idea - i need to turn the mind off so i may sleep. peh.

...and we plan more over messenger, what will we do tonight, how to swap rent check for new keys, when to move kitties, etc. and so on, so forth.

perhaps we will take a little break tonight to
breathe.