this weekend, concerts�everything went as planned, the stars bringing beauty from the east and *wank* and *shrug*. so amazing to look around and sing to people i know � those i love. fun!

interesting that the only way i found the rents at saturday night�s concert was when i shifted thoughts from looking for them specifically, to looking for the least conspicuous couple � the shrinking ones � the hole in the crowd where the people should be. and therin, parents! interesting. also interesting was my mother�s immediate criticism about the performance, how it was not an opera for it lacked key elements and such. i smirked inward, for how many operas has my mother been to? not a one.

i suppose she is entitled to her opinions
but if one is to criticize,
they should have a basic knowledge basis�

at least she did not call me fat. i hate that, i do. cruel woman, sorry but i have plans with friends after the show and am unable to partake in your dessert and coffee orgy.

more worries this weekend:

the doctor was explaining to me that most likely it is TMJ, this incessant pain in my maw. (Temporo-Mandibular Joint)

some of the symptoms that i have:

headaches, stuffiness or pressure in ears, a ringing or buzzing sound in either or both of your ears, frequent dizziness, jaws feel tight, and difficult to open, can't open your mouth as wide as you used to, teeth ache, teeth are sensitive, especially to cold temperatures, wake with sore facial muscles, clench or grind your teeth during movements of frustration or concentration, grind your teeth at night, ears hurt, hurts to move your jaw sideways, jaws ache after eating, under a fair amount of stress�and i�ve been told that you might have TMJ.

16 of the 25 questions (on the do you have TMJ listing) i answered yes or sometimes to. shit and fuck.

a friend of mine told me last week that her twin sister had to have her jaw sawed and wired for to fix her TMJ problem. SAWED AND WIRED?

i trem ��ble
i trem ��ble
i trem�ble at that thought

the whole stairs fear that i have, a terror, i�ll fall and smack my teeth off of the concrete steps � a mouth of blood and shattered. my teeth�my jaw. i woke TT in the middle of the night, my fists shaking, my thoughts on the removal of my jaw, complete. top teeth hovering over air, nothing but holes and gape.

these thoughts are awake thoughts.

between my jawmares and the kitten
there was little sleep this weekend

TT and i ordered piercing pliers this weekend so all of the ear jewelry can go for the x-rays and such (to be quickly replaced later.) it is quite the chuckle to have to buy special tools for which to remove one�s adornments! 10 in my ears, 13 total. jeez. such a pain to remove all of them for cat-scans and/or eeg tests, i�ll tell you.

i fear calling my dentist�i do.

*sigh*