my heart is racing, breaths shallow and fast...

i knew there was a reason that i did not call the GRE office, that i had been putting it off.

fuck.

i cannot take them again...i cannot. i missed the 5 year cut-off-report date by one year.

useless.

irresponsible.

...and it is all my fault, this failure, for not completing the MFA when i had the chance up in boston...i quit, considering sanity more important.

...but aren't many of the fameous writers/poets crazy?

i gave up
and everything i strove for has now completely turned to ash, to air.

i am watching so many hopes and dreams evaporate. i have no future, nothing planned, nothing but empty space...

and horrible debt.

i only hope that i can talk to them, the English department...

help me obi wan,
you are my only hope...

shit.