...and planes have been deployed to the Persian Gulf, and they refuse to supply suspects for questioning and ...when the planes attack then there will be jihad...holy war...death...destruction...and moreso, grief and a general feeling that noone is safe.

i told my sister about this today, and that i love her -- i just wanted her to know that.

some people grow bored/sick of the world trade center bombing, tired of the endless videos of the planes' eplosion...again...again. in my particular circle there are eyes rolling and jokes and apathy.

i understand

i see the patriotism welling up in a boil, popping flags onto every american lawn, car antenna, business window -- people dusting off their red white and blue anything and everything to show their support...purchasing up every flag they could find...their fake smiles somehow fitting in this time of grief...of rage.

two weeks ago...where were the singers of the anthem?
they were shoving their fellow man into the gutter, of course, for to get ahead and win...to succeed...to be american.

sick.

i feel defensive, yes, and patriotic...for i am angry, after all, my safe little corner of the world has just been raped. i am concerned, and wary and sad and even a little overwhelmed...but that does not mean that i am going to rise up and rally.

i do understand the apathy and shrugging off of the situation, in ways,

but people are dead

lots of people

and every time i hear of a new development, my heart stutters...my mouth gets dry.

and i fear for the worst.