very sexual dreams as of late...most likely because of recent illness in the family and national disasters (phlegm and mass murder are just two things that do not make me want to jump in the proverbial sack.) but there were dreams to keep me sane...

for some reason i have had two celebrity sex dreams, although i am not a follower of high fashion or stardom. interesting how in my dream, these were average/normal people, not icons. *shrug*

the dream last night:

i am driving to sinsinati after moving into my new apartment with TT for to drop off some stuffs that fsb left behind and to pick up the apartment keys from him. before i leave, i invite in and talk to the neighbors and such, unpacking a little as i talk. one of the neighbors is the grandmother of tyra banks. she is visiting, and so comes along...we both blush and glance at each other while making flirting gestures and conversation. she only has a few days of her vacation left, and when she leaves, expresses her regret, "don't tell me that i have to leave now ...when i have only just met you." and i am flattered.

at this point in the dream i morph into my precious TT and make plans to meet with her when i get back from sinsinati in the morning. she hastily scrawls down every possible number that i could use to contact her and smiles an amazing smile as she runs off after her grandmother who left a few minutes before.

i continue to morph inbetween being bootyboi and bootygrrl, excited and nervous about the meeting, wondering what i could buy her as a gift in sinsinati...what would one buy a supermodel? i was thinking along the lines of clothing, imagining her in all sorts of beautiful/dirty see-through outfits and such, both forms of me were very turned-on by this idea ...but i settled on a comfey cashmere sweater, that she could cuddle-up in and think of me/us.

and another celebrity dream a few nights ago

i am working in my library, which just happened to resemble a bookstore with large pane glass windows which i watch the dream through. i am dressed all sexy librarian, glasses and all, with my focus on a book that i am reading when a cute grrlie with a chinese haircut comes up to me to ask for help. it is pretty obvious where the book is that she asked for, and i figure out that she just needed an excuse to come talk to me. she asks her friend, angelina jolie, if she can invite me back to the party they are organizing. angelina looks me up and down, smiles a devilish smile and says, "she is quite welcome to come."

it is tme for me to leave work anyway, so i leave with them and we end up in angelina's hotel room. the room is huge, and filled with beautiful/funky/freaky women. they pass out extasy in different forms all around. there are naked shoulders and hands and fingers everywhere...moving. angelina hands me mine, three little candy-like dragons, which taste like sweet tarts and are yellow and orange. i crunch them up, nibble by little nibble and observe the suite. the extasy starts to kick in and i find myself surrounded by naked, laughing women, and i smile. this will be a good evening, yes.

and the dream right before that one...

i happen upon a barn...inside there are men everywhere having sex. they stop and look over at me, and i think i walked into somewhere that i am not welcome. it is not so, however. i couple invites me over and open my shirt. he and his partner take turns licking, fondeling my breasts while they suck each other off. i am soon a naked play toy surrounded by beautiful men making love. whee!

*grin*

strangely good dreams...i suppose the nightmares will come later, when this catastrophy sinks in a little deeper. it is still a very unreal thing...and very far away.

i have thought recently about death, muchso. TT and i discuss on the edge of breath what it would mean for us,...how we can not fathom such things. i have no life insurance, no real posessions to leave anyone, nothing that signifies that i am even here really...just a few paintings and sculptures that time will forget. *shrug*

i am much better alive...my greatest gift is interaction...being there/with people. nothing that i do has changed the world in any signficant manner.

sometimes i wonder if anyone would even remember...

*shrug*

but such wonderings are futile, for after all...i would be dead...and such things would not matter to a pile of worms, they are hungry none the less.