last night, the call to my mother,
"mum, i love you, i really do...and i appreciate all that you have done for me in the past and such, but..."
and i realized the eerie similarity of my words to a few years ago..a call from a boston mental ward...except this time the sentance ended,"...but i have to throw this sewing machine out the window."
(instead of, "...but i tried to kill myself and have been comitted for a little while."
yeah, not something you really want to call home about -- esp. since their reactions range from anger to utter and complete ignorance and denyal.)*shrug*[insert a funny picture of a girl, slightly high, hanging from a blinking light fixture that came out of the ceiling (trying to hang some artwork from it -- not myself) and you have summarized up my evening last night.]
note to self: call landladee about the hanging fixture (it really was not secure in the first place...)
anyhoo, i am going to throw out the sewing machine, bought at a thrift store for around $10.00, and which has caused me priceless amounts of grief -- and which i have never been able to get to work right.
sometimes,
sometimes there are reasons for things to be at the thrift store ...esp mechanical things with many many tiny moving parts.
*sigh*so i add it to the list of:THINGS I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD...including such lovely diddies such as a digital camera, a scanner (both for artwork stuffs) and clothes and shoes (needed, oh yes.) and stuff and things and more stuff and More THINGS!!
damn, i am so freakin material. this ponderance makes me even more sad.
*sigh*but, then again, i am not here to appease the readers, just to give myself some sort/form of sanity.
and it will make me feel better...get it off my chest?"du
du hast
du hast mich."
