my surgeon finally called me back, and soon will perfect this yuk. hooray for technology!! (of course, that is what got me into this mess in the first place, fuckers.) ...but on sept 28th i hope to have done correctly something that should have been done properly two surgeries ago.

fun? perhaps not, but final and over, hopefully this time. pleh.

it is time today to make preparations for vermont and laundry and such...so i am taking the rest of the day off!

Whee!!i so hope that it thunderstorms again today like it did last night...bootyboi waking me with little tippity-taps to come see the storm with him...and the electric kitties, silhouetted against the strobe of the storm, rain torrent flicking in streetlamp light. so beautiful! and tt and i one the couch, breathing in everything.

and last night a dream about moving into an apartment with tt and banannon. when the last box was carried in we explored...doors, windows, a secret staircase that led up to a landing with a huge and amazing stained glass window. we would store the futon there, napping at times in multi-hued light.

another door right beside the staircase door led into the land lord/lady's house. they had no children but many many animals, about 50 cats and dogs in all, let alone other caged things. their dogs ruled the yard in the back, all overgrown and filled with the sounds of their baying. if you opened the second door by accident, all of their pets would run into your apartment.

when i found this door i remembered that i had lived in this apartment before with myformadibleopponent and sither once. we were happy happy until i went insane and was comitted in a mental hospital. this memory hit me like a slap, and i colapassed into a fit of sobbing and shaking.

memories.

i remember feeling like that every day, i remember remembering boston after my mind made me forget, i remember how it was there...was. i am better now, and can remember stoicly and without regret.

change is good...everything in life changes eventually.

for instance: i miss my lunches with the f0o...and fear them long in coming back. *sigh* i have to accept these changes. i feel it shifting...my life...
shifting from some sort of conglomerated summer bliss into a fall of no time and anxiety. i am glad that i have been able to take my time a little this summer, lean back and relax a bit, enjoy the silence in my head, the non-whir/blur of thoughts, fears...worries.

yes, this summer has been good, and will be for the next two weeks, ...then i delve into hell for about 14 more.

*grin*

i emailed my chorale direktor today to tell him that this fall i would be too busy to attend the dip-dippity-dippy x-mas concert ...so that is one stresser out of the way. class, field placement, work, and finishing this application accompanied with hopefully swimming hardcore. i think i should be able to handle that, ...chorale would be pushing it, and ballroom dancing will have to wait until perhaps the spring.

(bootyboi is not here to learn how to tango anyhoo...)

*grin*