rabbits! rabbits!

psst - see tonight's entry for a promised picture...

tt and i are reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus together... so sweet. it seems the 3-to-4 year mark is a big turning point in relationships (at least with my experience as well as a few friends, etc.) - at this point relationships either blow apart (as my past 3) or they continue...if you make it through the first 6 months. not sure what is after this 4 yr. point as i have never made it this far before - bliss? deeper understanding? more intense snuggling?

perhaps...one can only hope. i have been entertaining the thought of getting the MafMVafV book for my sisters for xmas... not a bad book, really, if you can pick the nummy tidbits out from the mediocre/obvious bull. i would get if for the rents if i thought they would even crack the spine - but no - hopeless there.

the rest of the Anniversary weekend maddness - cure concert, learning how to walk properly, etc. - ended with a quiet and relaxing evening at home. tt and i were just too pooped to go out and celebrate on the actual day, so we had a two-person chinese food and movie party. fun fun!

my dream last night: i awake from a dream and my tt is away - i can feel his absence in the room as if a weight is pushing on my chest. i hear crashing and scratching, as if a large and furry body is wrestling its way across the floor in an adjacent room. the room i am in is no bedroom i have ever been in, but it is familiar enough for me to walk around in it in darkness and shadow. i feel for a light switch, running my hands tentatively over the walls.

when i find the switch my tt is there... and bundles me up in his embrace. i thought you were gone, what about the plane? he holds me tighter. you are really here?...am i dreaming? and he sighs into my shoulder please don't say that, i do not want to be at the airport...i do not want to leave you again...

and i wake and he is indeed gone, off on an airplane for work, although only to pasadina (with the little old lady, from?) and will be back friday night...not such a long trip as before, and not to be repeated every week for three years. how tiring it was.

i woke up alone with the weight still on my chest, a shallow breath weight, a cold and choking weight� i had forgotten what it was like to live mostly alone in a house with windows and locked(?) doors...i had forgotten the terror of it all.

i dropped the utte off at the mechanic this morning, damn butt warmer button, and our service manager guy (Gary) asked, where's the hubby? wha? *yawn* *sniffle*grog* where's your hubby? and i believe i blushed from the very tip of my head down... in slightly less than a year there will be talk of husband and wife - not hubby, and certainly not wife-pie - but for now fiancee is just fine.

i did not correct the service guy.

it was too sweet a moment to destroy.