contact be on of us recent in the past
wait | 11 August 2006 | 9:23 am


forcing myself to sit down and write a bit today. seems like so much has happened since my last post, and seems that nothing has happened at all. tt and i are working on ourselves, one of my life-long adamant pursuits. this continues and is an interesting undercurrent in our relationship as we approach our one year anniversary at the end of the month - how can we be better people, change who we are, accept difference in others?

politely, i have 3 more weeks to send out thank you cards. guess i am not polite. i am trying and have most of the family done - friends...friends are going to be so difficult as i have no clue how i could thank all of you enough, or express how much i love you. nope, no frackin clue. please be patient with me and my anxiety...

we have been watching the new battlestar.G. lately - holy crap, i love sci-fi. we also recently finished the anime series SamauraiChamploo - if you have not seen this, rent it now. happy hunting.

the fish tanks are filling up with little crazy fish creatures. last night we visited a local fish fancier to pick up some of his excess mollies, and before that in weeks past we have visited others to pick up free plants, endlers (woot!) and some nematodes we are breeding to feed our fry. little werms that eat oatmeal - they still gross me out a bit, but it is a fun biology experiment. tonight we pick up some corys and perhaps killies - we'll see. what a crazy world the aquarists are welcoming us in to.

last weekend i went up to boston for merrydeath's first solo art show - what a splendid success it was! succubus and wilde came out for the fun and it was the most wonderful and fun reunion. i so needed a weekend full of friends, i miss talking to people - i call, but it is just not the same.
on saturday succubus, her beaux, and i went downtown for a fetish fair. they are getting close with an amazing and wonderful group of people - reminded me of aikido geeks except they were fetish geeks. i am wistful when i think of being with them and my succubus again. later that night after much MD upset, more soon to come, we all went out for margaritas - mmm!
sunday was crazy and full of MD breaking down into her elements, so hard to see her that way. life has been a bit madhouse for her and it all just kept retching out after her show - finally a release - i was so glad to be able to be physically there for support. sometimes i forget i can be strong and supportive for others, sometimes i feel so weak and dead. i am glad i can turn that off when needed, mostly. i had a lot of good talks with MD over the course of the weekend - we talked and cried about who we are, what we want, and how we plan to get there. a lot of it was about mental change, we both have growing to do, much.

this morning i called to make an appointment with a therapist.
i left a message.
i wait.


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