this morning on the bus a little asian grrl teaching her even younger little brother the words respect and responsibility - i approved, and managed to not kick/nudge them away as they swayed almost in my lap on the bus.
no touchie poo.
i did however get a good kick in later on as some teenager was sitting on the steps on the way off...dude, get out of the freakin way, else...

we had some guests (Deb&Mark) last weekend for a couple of evenings and an afternoon - so odd to have such a short visit, desperately trying to get in some time to chat about the deepest issues. i felt as if i were spitting constantly, trying to shoot out my thoughts/words so fast. a good connection, yes, and a bit more of a connection with M than ever before - something real. interesting! this is what happens when one has a theRapy session in the midst of a good friend's visit - the need to share and explore thoughts becomes quite overwhelming - or maybe that was the tequilla? *wink*

my appointment last friday was amazing and ended in quite the release. i am looking forward to this friday and discussing my homework list of traits i admire or dislike in my parents. which of these do i see in myself? i do have the ability to choose who i am when i see behaviors i've carried in myself that i dislike. why is it so hard to stop? why do i feel so disconnected? why do i have these control and trust issues? why am i getting more anxious and obsessive? why can i not calm down enough to fall asleep - or stay asleep, for that matter? i have been seriously recommended for anxiety medication and have an appointment with a psychaitrist (MD) on tuesday. we shall see how that goes - i do not fear the medications, but the last time i was on them they were serving a different purpose.

have you ever been on medication for depression/anxiety and what has worked/not worked for you?

speaking of which, RunningWithScissors looks like it is going to be good - really!