this weekend was michigan and fuckboy/grrl...city club and ethiopian food...fun conversation and mariosunshine. it was good to get away for a bit, having no time in-between jobs and the related stresses therein. i love the kind of vacation in which one can actually relax, breathing deep and taking time, sleeping in and no worries. *heart*

i feel wonderful and happy happy today (even with the pulled muscle in my back...i pulled it getting out of the car (?) after the drive home? not sure about that one, i just know it hurts. damn back...damn weak genes.

*shakes fists in frustration at her rents*

a dream last night:

i am reading on the couch in the rent's living room. it is dark outside, a beautiful and clear night. i hear a low voice rumbling, loud and louder, filling the atmosphere with it's strange words -- incantations. the wind picks up, swirling around the house, throwing branches and rain, rocking the house in its foundations.

i creep over to the large pane window facing toward the front of the house and peek out at the storm. i watch as a dark blue suv is turned up on its front end, smashing against the ground again, again -- denting the front inward before it spins up into the air and toward the pane glass window in the front of the rent's living room...the one i peer out from. my reflex takes me back and behind the mantle just before the vehicle crashes into the room.

a man enters through the gaping and broken window, the wizard in long flowing robes of the darkest purple and black. he walks over to me, a grrl sitting on a stool in the corner behind the mantle, arms relaxed and crossed upon my lap at the wrist. i look up, unafraid and accepting while he threatens me, his robes still billowing in the great gales of wind he sweeps up around himself.

he threatens my demise, my death and my ultimate failure...for how was i to win a battle against one so great as he? i look upon him patiently, nodding with understanding, knowing my fate as a savior (of the entire world)...and knowing even his greatest efforts are in vain.

a second dream:

i am a graduate student again, and working at a library. today i will skip class, a class i plan to drop although i am uncertain if this will stop me from graduating in the end of this semester. it seems unimportant. someone calls from my class, looking for my books. i check my bookshelves (my personal library?) and they are there but i tell the person they are missing and not to call again.

it is about this time that i also decide that i no longer want to be the lion in the wizard of oz for halloween this year. it seems all of the seniors in my high school are also in my graduate school, and are dressing up fro halloween. i refuse to be the cowardly lion. (the girls who are dressing up as people from the wizard of oz are strangely (?) the same people that i received a letter from a few weeks ago -- an invitation to my high school reunion -- which i tore up and filed properly. heh.)

i see these grrls later and i am happy i refused, as the lion outfit is silly and poor-fitting on the girl who wears it. it is about this time i realize i have been ignoring my responsibilities to the kittens i am caring for. it is post-apocalyptic and there are no more shelters to be had. i have the kittens in a tiny corral in my room -- little wooden fence posts and barn included. someone comes to adopt a kitten and i show them my favorites, a kitten with markings yellow and black, exactly like a tiger...and one with a strange repeating floral pattern like wallpaper. i decide the couple will not be good for the kittens and i kick them out of the apartment.

i go to shelve some books and TT brings me a pair of grey pants (which i happened to lay out for this morning, last night) fresh from the laundry. he points out the strange writing on them, black pen highlighted by eraser marks -- white and black on grey. the writing is a simple line from a fairytale, repeated over and again, first typed then in handwriting...each repetition less legible than the next.

we do not understand what this means...these strange and encrypted pants. i discuss with TT and while doing so i see myformidableopponent's face flash over top of TT's...almost hologramic. i shrink back suddenly but then decide i am hallucinating. again it happens as TT and i walk from the library across our apartment past the kitten pen -- this time it is more apparent, and i see that myformidableopponent is disguising himself as TT.

i run toward the mantle, picking up a glass bottle-vase on the way, and smacking it off of the mantle's marble corner to break it -- a weapon with which to defend myself against this evil. the glass does not break and i hit it against the mantle 5 or 6 times, hard, disrupting and breaking other items on the mantle.

i am grabbed from behind and about to be wrestled to the ground when i see a broken glass, pick it up by its base, and stab it into myformidableopponent's face over my left shoulder. it sinks in wetly, the noise very clear and directly beside my ear as i stab him multiple times.

i keep stabbing at his face even though i now doubt that it is really myformidableopponent and not my TT trying to calm me down from my hysteria...i just keep stabbing.

and some snippets from dreams this weekend:

for a second car i purchase a porsche coupe from the 80s, dark blue with a tan leather interior. i spend the dream cleaning out the car -- finding old phone numbers and notes stuffed in the seat back pockets and such. i ask TT if he would like to take it for a spin and he seems uninterested. she is still parked in the gas station lot where i purchased her at the end of the dream...i never get to drive her.

another:

behind one of the walls in TT and i's bedroom is a crawl space which runs from floor to ceiling, just big enough for a person to squeeze into...but only sideways and squeezing from both sides the whole time. i discover this gap one day when walking around the corner to the door of the bedroom...funny i have not noticed it before...and interesting.

i squint into the darkness and know not what i see. a flashlight reveals two or three eel-like creatures crawling about the wooden support beams...twisting and laying pods about the space. each adult creature is about a yard long ad as thick as my arm. each pod contains a larval version of a young wall-eel, and they grow and propagate at an alarming rate. i can see them hatching and laying in a span of only a few moments. i panic when i realize how many empty pods there are...and that i have no idea how to stop the infestation.