when i think of us today i feel a catch, and intake of breath, my love. there is a fist squeezing my lungs - the fist is mine. i fear i am running away from things - internalizing, blaming myself, slowly becoming more and more androgynous. i want to be thrown up against the wall in a dark, wet alley, again, again - to be scratched, ripped precious panties, strangled with passion. i want to be stabbed and disemboweled for the evil and filth that i am. i need to feel something aside from hopeless helpless stagnancy - the cave/shelter i am digging for myself is becoming unstable.

just sad today i think. hell, why not.

hard to think at all as i am preoccupied with fear and ecology. global warming is happening now - things are dying and it is indeed dire. there is so much shrugging and ignorance going on, especially by governments - how is this possible?
there is no retirement, there is no future for our children - and there is absolutely no way to stop the warming. there is no way to stop the fish and animals from dying, the water levels rising to take over our seacoastal cities, the spread of this kind of disgusting human influence - and it is going to happen in our lifetimes. it started years ago.

i am overcome by the fact that i will never be able to grow old happily with my love, to retire, to battle - it is all so futile. i hate my job where i am not respected for the work that i do, i hate my government where i am not represented for what i believe and i hate my race for our selfish rape of the earth. love for my friends and lovers has brought me this far - at least we're not alone.

great and odd pictures - worksafe - i have to say i like the anenostrich the best... but then again, i have a weak spot for catfish...

i gotta brand new dress babe - could it make you wanna ...try?
i guess i didn't want to notice the stars gone from your eyes.
c'mon baby, i'm much stronger than you know -
Sometimes... i'm not afraid to let it show.

when will you wake up?
i want you more than the stars and the sun,
but I can take only so much.
cool on your island... is it cool on your island?