not a good day, today.

i am sinking down comfortably into the sad, methinks, tucking the comfort and pain up under my cheek...inhaling my world like dust and unable to breathe out.

i only suck...but i used a zeugma!

this month has been...has been difficult to say the least.

the dispersion of my plans toward the MFA goal

the death of my most wonderful and useful-as-fuck volvo stationwagon. 1983 and 240,000mi. dead body but the engine still purrs...unfortunately i do not live in bedrock, and my delicate feet have lost their summer callouses from long ago.

insurance fucks. they assured me of medical coverage for my surgery...now they seem to disagree. fathom this.

but the weekends are heaven...and i am saved from worry and fear, enveloped in those kisses, sweet, and arms so very long and tattooed cute. i curl up inside of him and everything else melts.

it is good to have an island, a calgon-boi, a lover...

it is good to know that things will be alright.

yes.

but things are still so disappointing -- and now the happy happy offer of a technical job in myformidableopponent's place of employ just slip slip slipped through my fingers, leaving them wet and tasting marvelous, still.

maybe the person they offer the job will tell them to blow.

maybe i just should not have any hope at all.

not hope, perchance, more like expectations? not sure. i just really hoped for a job like that, all sparkly and techy - my puter skillz put to use, and something worthy of an MLIS.

maybe the person they offer the job to will get hit by a train.

a very big and fast train.

*nods*