tori in my dream last night.

TT and i arrive late for her concert and are forced into the back of a very large park grove. i am disappointed and can not even see the stage...people pushing out my breath from all sides. i choke, i hyperventalate ...anxiety attack.

something is wrong with the wiring and the concert is cancelled. immediately half of the crowd is gone...then more wonder away. TT and i stay to wait out the traffic.

when there are about 30 people left, tori walk out in the stage. she explains that since she is here already and is not leaving town until tomorrow afternoon, that she might as well have some fun. her band walks out, for some reason comprised of all females, and they sing a few songs without any electronic accompaniment. she sings songs that i have never heard before, crooning songs, laughing in some and crying through the rest.

amazing to experience this, and she walks off of the stage and around to chat with us, those left sprawled out comfortably on park benches and playground gyms. she wears a long woven bead dress over plain under dress. pretty. every now and then she bursts out into another acapella song, her voice clear, clean, sharp.

another dream...

two men come up to our (TT and i's) porch...they ask us for money and explain that they will perform. they have instruments with them...and it looks interesting, so TT and i chat with them for a while.

i pick up the sousaphone they brought and put it on, playing a little riff. they recognise the scandinavian folk song and play along -- amazed that i can play, esp. the difficult slurred passage.

i tell them of ten years of turmpet playing in school and college, and that just about any brass instrument is something that i can play -- meliphone a speciality from drum corp. they have a french horn and remember old feelings of wanting to master the beautiful and haunting sounds.

*sigh*

sometimes i really miss music...at least i shall be in the chorale again this spring.

i think the outlet keeps me sane.

dreams about music last night. the tori concert is recurring, but not often. at times i am the only one there for a private concert, mostly there are about 20-30 ppl. she sings material that i have never befpre heard, and cannot remember in the morning -- just ghosts of passages, wisps of voice. interesting. i enjoy tori's music, but my life does not revolve around it.

i think the dreams are representative of me living a little bit through her, feeling too shy to get up there and sing myself -- i have her sing the songs that come from my imagination.

interesting concept.

*yawn*

headache this morning, i think i am going to go home and nap for a little while.

*sigh*