...and the pain persists, damnit. now at least, i think, i have solved the problem. UTI. lab tests back friday and antibiotics, i hope! oh please give me something!! (although it is fun for a terminate period of time to have bright orange urine...ask a grrlie, she'll know what i am talking about.)

hooray, to be a grrl! pleh. yuk.

grrlies get to bleed all over the place, have hormonal surges, parasitic fetuses and UTIs!

hooray for us.
yay.

anyhoo, we also get to have boobies, sexy hips and multiple-orgasms... which make all of this grosserthangross stuff bearable.

and dreams...

my sweet TT dreams of insects!

a spider crawls up behind his pillow and nastily bites his finger...hitting it off of the wall does no good as it digs deeper into his skin. he wakes up and his finger hurts...much.

a few nights ago i woke up, startled, to my boy sitting violently up in bed. "what?," i ask, "what is it?" he tells me that there is a wasp! "a wasp!, fuck!" and i jump out of bed, flick on the lights. "where is it?" and he tells me that he does not know....i look around. sleepy, he tells me that maybe it was just a dream...and goes back to sleep, peaceful. in the morning he tells me that they were in the lasagne, in the noodles. ew!

more dreams last night, this time mine...

i dream i am a teenage boy winning the lottery...or some sort of huge, statewide contest. the winners all travel to seattle to ride a huge ferris wheel for advertisement purposes. i want to ride in car #1, but they make me ride in car #31. i am pissed off, after all, i am the most important and won the most money. i demand respect and they laugh at me.

sometime later i am underneath the ferriswheel (which looks strangely like a large roulette wheel) in the workings. huge metal gears and pistons work around me...and i shoot up heroin. the man who boils it and gives it to me (all black and still bubbling in the syringe -- although i think heroin is blue, isn't it?) watches me shoot it. there is a large bubble that forms underneath my skin, moving slowly down my arm, toward my wrist. i scream and he smacks it -- hard. it dissipates and i can see the dark fluid running underneath my skin, along with lots of blood from broken vessles.

the room disappears, and i am suddenly in the rent's garage. everything is familiar, although the garage in the dream is hundreds of feet tall, and hollow...with a rickety staircase-on-stilts winding up the middle. at the top of the staircase is a puzzle-box (hellraiser?) that i have to obtain, and i walk up the stairs...slowly...carefully, and sway gently with the staircase, hold on to the railings tight. i find the box on the very top step and turn around...progress down the stairs.

at the bottom of the stairs i look up again...beautiful delicate structure that it is...and i think of taking a picture. before i can focus and snap my shot the stairs sift down upon each other from the top, falling int a large pile of pickup/chop sticks.

*grin*