so, the sad is back, clinging to me like some static-y skirt, hampering movement and being an all around general annoyance. and i think to myself, all i have ever wanted, ever, is to be happy, or at least smiling more often than hating/frowning. perhaps this is an unrealistic goal to attain?

perhaps.

*sagegiverofadvice* well then, make things happen, force out the happy in everything you do....!

*stuffs her fist way down through esophagus into bowels*

i have tried, and i do try, and i am sick of trying so hard with everything.
i need a break?
(you need to work on your paper, then do that html assignment, take your car to the shop, ...etcetra, so on, so forth.)

i think i will go for a walk.