i do not want to go to the sad place...and yet i am sitting here at work, and slowly the tears. i thought i was handeling this well yesterday, but i have since fallen apart, as i see everything in my life crumble before my eyes. noone wants a sadgrrl, i realize.
i would not.

but...this is crumble time.

i really do not know how to deal with these kind of things well, and the anxiety pours in as the sky/walls fall. last night i lay in bed not sleeping all night-- thinking of little stars on my ceiling fan, falling. it is also a little hard to breathe, damn constricting thoughts. i am only so strong, and i am breaking hardcore.

it will get better.

in time...always time.

i dressed up all librarian today, sparkly eyes and such...i knew this was going to happen.